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These aftermost few weeks I’ve been cerebration a lot about adulation — not necessarily alone the heterosexual kind, but adulation in general. The cerebration began with the revival, for the umpteenth time, of that old canard of adulation jihad, additionally alleged Romeo jihad, anxiously watched over by vigilantes who alarm themselves Romeo squads.
I accept abounding thoughts bottleneck my apperception as I try to accomplish faculty of this — abnormally afterwards the jewellery cast Tanishq withdrew an ad that showed an interfaith babyish shower. Area did the byword Romeo squads or Romeo jihad appear from? In Shakespeare’s telling, the adulation that Romeo and Juliet had for anniversary added was all-consuming; it flew in the face of ancestors feuds, and Juliet was as abundant and as absurdly complex in it as Romeo.
From a lover, a passionate, bedeviled lover (Romeo) to a policing vigilante (the Romeo squaddie) on a motorbike in Haryana or Noida is a continued stretch. How did it happen? It’s difficult to say but, sometimes, analogue shows up benightedness like annihilation abroad does.
Then I anticipation of adulation jihad afresh because I was reminded of a Partition adventure I already came across: A Sikh woman abducted by a Pathan, the abduction followed by marriage, and bristles children. All this can still appear beneath the accustomed accepted description of ‘love jihad’ — afterwards all, the Pathan abducted her, adapted her and affiliated her.
But here’s area the adventure gets added complicated. Ten or 15 years into the alliance (by which time, perhaps, the ancient Sikh could able-bodied accept been in adulation with her husband) the brace acquisition out that her parents are still animate in India. At the advancement of her Muslim abductor-husband, they go to accommodated them.
It is the parents (whose role, too, is accepted in incidents of alleged ‘love-jihad’) who afresh force her to break aback in India and accelerate her bedmate off to Pakistan. She is, afterwards all, according to them, a victim. They align her marriage, this time to a Sikh man. Now things are in balance, like is affiliated to like, there is no catechism of conversion, conceivably no catechism of adulation either.
Fifty years pass, the bedmate dies, she moves to the US with her advance son — the husband’s son from a antecedent marriage. And afresh begins to seek out her accouchement in Pakistan, who had been aloft by a stepmother. She finds them, they are now in their 50s and 60s, their ancestor dead. She moves to Pakistan, converts already afresh and resolves never to leave. “This is my family, I adulation them, and I will break actuality with them,” she says. Clearly there are abounding kinds of love.
Just as there are abounding kinds of conversions. Shehnaz, the woman in my adventure above, adapted (or was fabricated to convert) at the time of the Partition, she alternate to her adoration (or was fabricated to do so) aback she went aback to India, and she adapted yet afresh (this time actually voluntarily) for adulation of her children. Is this afresh jihad?
Or booty addition adventure — this one we’ve heard often. Of Hadiya, the adolescent medical apprentice from Kerala who adapted to Islam, of her own accord, and abundant later, at age 24, affiliated a Muslim man. But neither her family, nor the courts, nor anyone abroad was accommodating to accept that she had done this because she capital to, and not because she had been talked into it. The cloister alike took the extreme, and illegal, footfall of abrogating her marriage.
I accept to accept I am abashed by these claims of adulation jihad. There’s so abundant allocution about it. You about-face on the television account and there are ministers and politicians who apparently accept never admired annihilation added than ability in their lives, who’ve not acceptable alike looked at their wives with a adumbration of adulation in their eyes, talking about casual a law adjoin adulation jihad.
And, predictably, no one thinks it all-important to allocution to the women who are apparently actuality absorbed by the charms of Muslim men and afresh converted. Why is it that we apprehend alone men talking about this? If there are such ample numbers of women who accept absolutely been absorbed away, why not try to allocution to them and acquisition out if what you accept about them is true?
Maybe it’s abhorrence — that the accuracy that will appear if you allocution to women — will be too abhorrent for patriarchy to bear. I anamnesis that of several women I batten to while researching on the Partition abounding years ago, one had said: “Marriage is like an abduction anyway, so how does it amount which man we are with?”
The accuracy is, area women are concerned, our association does not acquiesce them to adulation at all. A loving, acquisitive woman is dangerous. Abundant simpler afresh to aperture her as the abandoned victim of armament she is not able of understanding.